Fiber in the Hands of an Angry Spinner

So my canopy, a Light Dome, comes with the option of awnings on the front and the back. You don’t have to order the awning initially, but you do have to order the zippers and flaps on your top, so, figuring that I wanted to have the option, I ordered the awning zippers.

Then I had this brilliant idea . . . I could make a sign for my booth that zipped on and off! It would be a needle-felted sign on reclaimed wool! It would be awesome!

Then I realized that I needed the other half of the zipper to pull it off. I called my canopy company — would they sell me 1/2 a zipper?

No, they wouldn’t.

Would they sell me the whole zipper?

No, they wouldn’t.

Realize, dear reader, that I was willing, at that moment, to pay up to $50 for the zipper . . . I was figuring on at least $30.

That conversation was going no where, and we both seemed to know it. The canopy company suggested, if I wanted a sign, that I add on a banner.

On general principle, I’m not against banners, and for people who do many craft shows a year, I suspect they’re really awesome — durable, readable, made of the same tough stuff as the canopy — and completely wrong for my booth filled with handcrafted items. You have to understand — when you get something made by the Angry Spinner, you get something made by the Angry Spinner. Even at this time of year, when my family begs me to let them help (probably because I’m driving them crazy as I’m stressed out), I reject most of their offers. You’re getting something that’s made by me.

So I thank the canopy company, and hang up. The Renaissance Guy points out that the zippers are from YKK, so all we need to do is figure out what size they are, and then who we can order from. He finds PerfectFit, and we order two lengths of zipper, a pull, and four “saddle” clamps that keep the zipper pull from falling off. Total: $8.29

$8.29!

One day, Farmerteen and I showed up at Paradise Fibers and I was greeted with, “Jen! The Angry Spinner!” as I often am . . . then they asked who Farmerteen was, and she quipped that she was the Annoyed Weaver. As it turns out, Farmerteen isn’t particularly annoyed (except when her grandfathers talk politics at her), and hasn’t done much weaving (she was doing loop potholders then, and but has done some rigid heddle since).

She’s working on a new title, since she’s got into sewing . . . she’s suggested “The Sad Sew-er” and I’ve countered with “The Serendipitous Seamstress” or “The Tempestuous Tailor” (since “sew-er” without the hypen is “sewer” . . . ).

So — any ideas for Farmerteen’s new moniker?